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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269811">Its a circus, a bloody circus where the conniving win, the mighty fall and no one knows whether they will ever recover</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hatt3r/pseuds/Mad_Hatt3r'>Mad_Hatt3r</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Broadchurch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:54:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,314</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hatt3r/pseuds/Mad_Hatt3r</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before and after the verdict</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jocelyn Knight/Maggie Radcliffe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Its a circus, a bloody circus where the conniving win, the mighty fall and no one knows whether they will ever recover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Your absolutely amazing response to my last work 'To think I almost the nerve...' inspired this. Honestly the comments and kudos where so much more than I was expecting so thank you. </p>
<p>I'm firmly blaming all you wonderful people for my exam prep being put to one side while I finally put 'pen to paper' so to speak and jotted down this next installment. </p>
<p>I am now hoping to be able to concentrate on my studies again... for a little while at least!</p>
<p>I have no rights to Broadchurch or it’s Characters I’m merely borrowing them :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As she sits down in the gallery, Olly  settling to her right, she winces slightly as her muscles pull. Faltering for just a second she fights hard to suppress the smirk that’s pulling at the corners of her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You alright Maggie?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She forces a neutral smile at a concerned Olly barely containing the urge to laugh out loud. She can just picture the look of absolute shock that would appear on his face if she told him the real reason she was stiff and sore this morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just age Olly nothing more”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks at her with his eyes narrowed but doesn’t persist and for that she’s grateful. She would probably scar him for life if she told him there’s a lingering ache between her thighs from Jocelyn fucking her as though her life had depended on it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From the moment she awoke she felt as though she’s was in an emotional conundrum, two sides fighting for dominance and still it is twisting her into knots. There’s the stress and worry of today where she’s praying Joe Miller is found guilty for everyone’s sakes as well as her own. Then there’s the other side which is practically vibrating with giddiness, elated that after all these years Jocelyn has finally confessed her feelings and wants her, wants them to be together. Her body feels flooded to the point of overflowing with endorphins, satisfaction from last night still thrumming through her veins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waking in Jocelyn’s arms had felt surreal and for a split second she had wondered if she was dreaming. When the softest of kisses had been placed to her nape the illusion had been broken and she had turned eagerly, meeting Jocelyn’s lips with her own, going from chaste to wanting in seconds. In the end she had reluctantly pulled herself out of the arms of her love with the promise of returning later. Neither of them could afford to delay getting ready for this day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She has tried very hard not to look too jovial, considering what she is attending her state of happiness isn’t expected or appropriate. She’s avoided Beth and Ellie, has settled for supportive smiles from a distance. She feels guilty but she knows she’s practically glowing and it would lead to questions that she isn’t ready to answer yet and certainly not today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been a magical night, she feels a little silly describing it that way at her age but Maggie cannot think of a more fitting description. Jocelyn loves her, wants to be with her and it fills her whole self with a warmth like no other. She had never believed they would be together, had locked away her feelings for the brilliant barrister confining them to the deepest depths of her being.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been difficult, had hurt her deeply as she wrestled with her emotions but she couldn’t force Jocelyn to act on the feelings Maggie just knew where there. After that first heartbreak she had made herself move on and until Jocelyn’s return from London she had been successful. Since the trial began they have spent more and more time together, her walls crumbling as she had been reminded of what made her fall for Jocelyn in the first place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Last night had been everything she had ever dreamt of and so, so much more. She feels a flicker of arousal as she remembers Jocelyn pinning her down and ravishing her. It had come as a surprise, one she was more than thrilled about. She hadn’t known what to expect when she had eagerly followed Jocelyn up the stairs to her bedroom. With Jocelyn closeting herself away she had naively assumed that she would be less experienced, that it may have been up to her to take the lead. The fact that the love of her life dominates in the bedroom the way she does her courtroom sends a thrill through her and she cannot quite believe her luck that this amazing woman wants her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Reckon we’ll be waiting much longer?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Forcing away the thoughts of Jocelyn Maggie shakes her head and takes a deep breath composing herself, looking as professional as she can. The gallery is filling up now Mark, Beth and Chloe have taken their seats along with Ellie and DI Hardy. Glancing at her watch she notes they should be starting soon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You ready for this?” Olly actually looks worried, it’s the first time she has seen that expression since the trial began and her stomach clenches uncomfortably.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not really, I just hope it goes our way”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t even want to begin to think about what will happen if it doesn’t” Olly reaches for his notepad it’s almost filled to the brim, the pages filled with details from each court session all noted down in his messy shorthand “Don’t think there’s going to be much to add to this, should just be one final sentence”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One word would do it for Maggie, the nerves are beginning to set in now and she’s feeling angsty. Her fingers are drumming on her thigh and her palms feel sweaty.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The side door to the courtroom opens and Sharon makes her way in closely followed by her junior Abby, Maggie bristles. Although she knows they are just doing the job they are paid to do she cannot help but feel some disdain towards them, especially Abby. She looks to Olly, watching his cheeks colour as he stares down trying to catch the brunette’s eye. Maggie rolls her eyes at him and he just shrugs not at all apologetic. She hopes his night of passion hasn’t cost them all dearly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doors open again and this time Jocelyn comes striding into the room, Ben trailing eagerly behind her. Maggie’s breath catches and she swallows hard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn has always looked good in her robes but it’s one thing to see her in them while they are friends it’s a whole other seeing her in them now they’ve slept together. She looks breathtaking; confident, assertive. With her head held high, shoulders back, she walks with all the confidence of a queen and Maggie can only stare.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her core clenches, a shot of lust running through her every nerve ending. Her libido has been reignited and after being dormant for, if she’s honest, quite a while she feels as though she’s burning with need. Her last partner was Lil and that had ended just over six months ago. With Danny’s death Maggie’s workload had only doubled and it left no time for her increasingly agitated other half. In the beginning the sex had been alright but it had petered out pretty quickly, a fact she had blamed on their ages. It was no picnic getting older and she had presumed the menopause had robbed her of her once healthy libido leaving behind only the ghost of its memory. Oh how wrong had she been.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As she stares at Jocelyn the heat builds. Her eyes trail from her legs upwards and as they roam her features Maggie’s mind wanders. She wants those hands and that mouth on her, all over her, can almost feel the echo of her fingers from last night. She crosses her legs as her stomach clenches.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You alright?” Olly’s voice startles her back to the present and she turns quickly to meet his concerned gaze “You’ve gone all flushed”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her cheeks burn hot and she curses herself for acting like a frivolous schoolgirl. She watches as Olly’s eyes narrow, his gaze flitting between herself and Jocelyn. She blushes harder and his eyebrows rise as a wide grin spreads across his features.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No way! You and Jocelyn Knight?!” She elbows Olly sharply in the ribs, causing him to grimace rubbing at the offending spot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shush!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He quietens but her rebuke does nothing to lessen his gleeful smile as she looks around nervously. Luckily nobody is paying them any attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Way to go Maggie! The prosecuting QC, didn’t think you had it in you” he whispers excitedly, winking cockily and she scowls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh do shut up Oliver”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t even know she swung that way” he looks thoughtful “This a recent thing or...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh recent all right, as in literally last night” the words are out before she can stop herself and her cheeks burn. Olly just waggles his eyebrows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I knew there was something going on with you this morning, you practically skipped when you walked through those doors. I thought it was excitement for the trial but no our esteemed editor got it on with the formidable barrister last night”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Olly guffaws and she rolls her eyes at his crudeness, typical twenty something male. Seeing the utter delight in Olly’s eyes at such gossip Maggie suddenly feels a twinge of worry “Olly I need you to keep this to yourself”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I gathered, not exactly great timing is it. You know after the bloody shit you gave me for sleeping with Abby you’re doing the same thing!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple of people in front of them turn around scowling at the disturbance, Maggie smiles apologetically before glaring at Olly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Keep your voice down!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He rolls his eyes but moves in closer so that he can whisper “Pot kettle black Maggie”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It isn’t the same and you know it, I haven’t done anything to compromise the guilty verdict of Joe Miller” that wipes the condescension from his features, for a moment she feels a twinge of guilt but she pushes it aside “and I’m not asking you to keep it quiet because of how it looks to this trial”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes narrow and Maggie knows she’s going to have to spell it out to him “What you said about not knowing about Jocelyn well nobody bloody does and I think it needs to come from her petal don’t you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Olly’s eyes dawn with understanding and his features soften into a reassuring smile “Of course, just between me and you then”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie gives him a soft smile and lets out a sigh of relief. For a moment she worried he would press the issue. Sometimes his need to run a story compromised his morals but she’s beyond pleased that in this case Olly’s doing the right thing. Jocelyn’s hesitance is still a worry to her, one that she’s fighting hard to ignore. She cannot hide herself away, never has, never will and she hopes Jocelyn is strong enough to be brave with her. To be open with others that they intend to be in a relationship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Does she make you happy?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wonderfully so, she cannot remember when she last felt this content. She looks back down and catches Jocelyn’s eye, she has clearly been watching them intently for some time. Maggie beams giving her the smallest of waves and Jocelyn smiles, the smile reserved solely for her, for just a moment before her professional mask slips perfectly back in place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well then, that’s all that matters to me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She reaches for Olly’s hand giving it a quick pat, ignoring the slight pink in his cheeks, he’s a good lad really.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think it’s about to start”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While they have been chatting Maggie notes Joe has been brought in and the judge sweeps into the room. They stand, wait for confirmation to be seated and as they settle down Maggie takes a deep breath sending one last silent prayer that Joe Miller is found guilty.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shall I leave?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her insides are twisting with a mixture of disappointment and fury. She feels let down and after the events of the day she didn’t think she could feel any worse than when the verdict was announced to the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She feels silly like all the earlier excitement about them finally being together has been for nought. It had been the same fear she had initially felt when Jocelyn had confessed her love. That this was just a passing moment, something being said because she felt all alone in the world that she had so recently braved once more. She had been high on emotion this morning but now she has been brought back down to earth with a nasty bump.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you even want me at all?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She surprises herself with the question but she’s done nursing her wounded heart where Jocelyn Knight is concerned. Jocelyn sighs but doesn’t answer her and Maggie has had enough, she won’t stay where she isn’t wanted. Standing abruptly she picks up her bag and begins to walk back over the stones to the path.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maggie”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She keeps moving, she won’t be treated like a doormat and where Jocelyn is concerned she lets her take liberties which she wouldn’t allow with others. She had been half out of her mind with worry when none of her calls had been answered and the house had been empty when she went in search of the elusive other woman. When their eyes had met across the courtroom just after Joe had been led from the room Jocelyn had looked shell shocked and Maggie’s stomach had dropped even lower. Her whole being had filled with despair for Beth and Mark, Ellie and Tom, Olly and then when she had finally let her eyes settle on Jocelyn the feeling had magnified.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maggie wait!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn’s tone is commanding as though she is speaking to one of her juniors in the courtroom and it instantly riles her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why should I? Honestly it’s like getting on a bloody merry go round dealing with you and quite frankly I’m sick of it”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn falters Maggie can see her words have struck a nerve and inwardly she gloats, good.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You told me you loved me, wanted us to be together, demanded I was yours as you fucked me-“ Jocelyn winces “and not 24 hours later you’re already pushing me away. I won’t just be another thing you can ignore, I’m not something you can compartmentalise”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know that”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you? Because if we’re doing this Jocelyn it means we’re together and that means supporting each other” Jocelyn looks suitably chastised but Maggie isn’t done “Do you know how much I’ve been craving your presence since that bloody verdict was read out?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her voice hitches and she quickly blinks back tears, she doesn’t want to cry, she’s worried if she starts she might not stop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re not the only bloody one grieving the outcome Jocelyn”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Too late, two tears make their way down her cheeks as a sob lodges in her throat. Jocelyn moves up off the boat as quickly as she can pulling her into her arms the moment she is close enough. Those strong hands hold her, clutch at her, one cradling her head fingers threaded through her hair. Maggie wants to fight it but she can’t when Jocelyn is finally giving her what she has needed since the words ‘Not guilty’ had rang out into the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry” There’s a soft kiss pressed to her temple and she buries closer inhaling deeply as she does “I will be better I promise”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie pulls back wiping her cheeks as she does. Jocelyn gently pulls her hands away before wiping away the wet streaks softly with her thumbs as she cradles her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m so used to only having to think about myself and I didn’t want you to see me when I’m like this”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie almost rolls her eyes but she doesn’t, trying to remember that for Jocelyn a normal relationship is not something that has been in her life for a long time, if ever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want all of you Jocelyn not just the good bits I hope you feel the same about me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn reaches for her hands, entwining their fingers and Maggie squeezes softly as Jocelyn looks at her as though she’s said something silly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course, not that I’m certain you have any bad bits” Jocelyn’s eyes sparkle and Maggie scoffs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t try and flirt your way out of trouble with me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why is it working?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh this woman will be the death of her she’s certain. At her coy flirty smile Maggie feels her stomach swoop and her heart flutter. It’s unfair just how beautiful Jocelyn is, even when the stress of the day is evident in her tired eyes and tense shoulders.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes and I should be allowed to be cross with you for at least another hour or so”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn chuckles and for a moment Maggie forgets the events of the day and just how tired she is with it all. It’s just her and Jocelyn, who has accepted her wrongs and apologised and she wishes they could stay here forever.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shall we watch the sunset, drink some more of this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She holds up the bottle of gin and Jocelyn inclines her head. Turning to the upturned boat Jocelyn settles herself back down facing the sun and raises her arm. Maggie sits down next to her and cannot fight the smile that finally breaks across her face when Jocelyn wraps her arm around her shoulder and pulls her in close.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do you need?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn doesn’t answer but her breath hitches at the whisper in her ear. Her posture is tight with stress, every muscle straining. Maggie wants to make it better for her, wants to wipe the days events from her mind. Oh how desperately she wants to provide Jocelyn with the comfort to ease her warring soul.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had watched the sunset in silence then made the slow walk back to Jocelyn’s house. It hadn’t been discussed Maggie just knew she needed to stay here tonight. The depressive state has settled over Jocelyn again, her expression becoming more and more troubled. Maggie knows the weight of responsibility and guilt she is carrying is dragging her down. Jocelyn hasn’t pushed her away but she has retreated into herself and Maggie wants to pull her from the dark depths of her mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Leaning her chin against her shoulder she angles her head so that each breath caresses her lover's earlobe as she talks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I just want to make it all better”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can’t darling”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her voice breaks over the words and Maggie’s heart hurts for her love who only wanted to help the family who’s boy had been taken from them far too soon. Just wanted to help them gain some peace in seeing the man responsible incarcerated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It wasn’t your fault”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She presses a kiss to the soft skin of Jocelyn’s neck inhaling deeply as she does. The scent of her love grounds her, centres her after the whirlwind that has been endured.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want to make you feel better”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maggie...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s a warning in that tone but she ignores it continuing to press soft delicate kisses marvelling at the warm skin under her lips. She isn’t pushed away even though part of her anticipates it and she becomes bolder. Her tongue traces the path made by her lips and when still she isn’t reprimanded she lightly grazes skin with her teeth. The reaction is instantaneous.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In mere seconds she’s trapped against the patio door, Jocelyn’s hips pressed tight against her own. Jocelyn’s mouth is on hers insistent, demanding and Maggie surrenders to her tongue with a moan. It’s almost brutal the intensity in which Jocelyn kisses her. Her head spins, heat coiling in her stomach in anticipation of what’s to come.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Abruptly it’s torn away from her, Jocelyn pulls back and Maggie can only watch helplessly as she snatches her cigarettes from the table as she lights one moodily taking a deep drag her eyes resting on the bay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t want this, me-“ her voice is strained “not tonight”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie places her hand softly on her arm trying not to take offence as Jocelyn flinches under her touch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I will always want you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You shouldn’t not when I’m like this, I can barely stand being in my own skin so you shouldn’t want to be anywhere near me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie doesn’t let the bite in Jocelyn’s voice affect her, she knows it isn’t personal. She doesn’t say anything else just moves pressing into Jocelyn’s side. She wants to stay close, prove her point that she will always want this woman even on days like this one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No one blames you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even though they have had this conversation already Maggie feels it’s important to reiterate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I do”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You couldn’t help it, there were mistakes made outside of your control you know this”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s no answer and Maggie sighs tiredly, a cold shiver runs across her shoulders causing her to shudder. Although the night isn’t a cold one she is not wearing a jacket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Go inside”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn’s voice is tired but it’s tinged with concern. Deciding to listen for a change she pulls away and goes in search of the throw she has spied many times on the back of the living room arm chair. Wrapping it around her shoulders she makes her way back to Jocelyn needing her close. The other woman is now sat at the table, shoulders slumped with her head in her hands. She looks completely lost and worry churns in Maggie’s gut. Settling into the seat closest, she drapes the blanket so that it covers both their legs. Jocelyn raises her head and smiles at her gratefully, raising her arm in clear invitation so she can nestle into her side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t be, I do understand”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have no control of it, the frustration of it all is thrumming through my veins and I don’t know how to let it out”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie ponders for a moment watching Jocelyn out of the corner of her eye. She can feel how tense the body she’s pressed against is and her limbs ache in sympathy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How did you used to deal with this, losing a big case I mean”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A dark shadow flickers across Jocelyn’s eyes briefly but then she smiles wryly “I have only lost a very small amount in my career”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s deflection at its best but Maggie isn’t letting go “But when you did?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won’t be participating so it isn’t relevant”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This piques her interest, Jocelyn’s life is such a mystery to her and the journalist in her wants every detail. It’s hard trying to balance the fine line of craving more and respecting boundaries.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Try me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s silence for a long while, Jocelyn has smoked an entire cigarette, fingers worrying at her lighter and Maggie has almost accepted that she isn’t going to receive a response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I needed to take control”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s shame in her voice but Maggie feels nothing other than a heady thrum of want cruising through her system. She’s almost certain she’s reached the correct conclusion, from the way Jocelyn had her up against the door earlier and the restlessness that’s clearly clawing at her skin. Making up her mind Maggie stands and reaches a hand out, Jocelyn eyes her warily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Take me to bed”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t, I don’t want to taint this. I love you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The conflict in her eyes pulls at Maggie’s heartstrings and she reaches further cupping Jocelyn’s chin, cradling her cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can and you won’t, please I want to do this. I want you, I love you, all of you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stares into deep blue eyes making sure that her face is showing nothing other than acceptance. Finally Jocelyn gives the smallest of nods and Maggie reaches for her hand again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Like I said to you last night, I’m yours”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The moment they had walked into the hallway Jocelyn had pounced, plundering her mouth and Maggie had instantly surrendered. She could barely keep up with the intensity in which Jocelyn had kissed her, gasping for breath when finally Jocelyn had pulled away. Strong fingers had torn at her blouse, buttons flying everywhere and Maggie could only hold on for dear life as the cups of her bra where roughly pulled down. The cold air caused her nipples to harden before those lips she had been thinking about in court all morning had wrapped around them causing her to cry out loudly. One hand had pushed between the waist band of her trousers cupping over her knickers and she had felt almost embarrassed by how wet she had been. Jocelyn had moved her hand over her mound pressing the heel of her palm hard against her clit and she had been unable to stop the whine of pleasure that had escaped her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn had been unrelenting. The swirl of her tongue and the sting of her teeth on her breasts, while the pressure against her increased almost to the point of being painful had left her desperate. The buildup had been practically nonexistent. Her orgasm had come quickly, causing her to cry out loudly with her legs shaking, back digging into the wall. It had left her wet and aching but deeply unsatisfied, the speed in which her release had hit only leaving her wanting more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now she’s lying on the floor in the bedroom doorway, pants and underwear torn from her by insistent hands, Jocelyn between her thighs, three long fingers pressing deeply into her. Her backs arching, her lungs are burning and she can barely form an articulate thought such is the intensity of the feelings her body is being made to succumb to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mine”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh how never a truer word spoken she belongs to Jocelyn in a way she has never with any other. Even before these last twenty four hours the fiery barrister has held a piece of her heart for a long, long time. Slow, deep measured thrusts are working her body perfectly, the strength behind them impressive as she clutches at the doorframe scrabbling to anchor herself. Her core burns and she craves it even though she knows come tomorrow she’s going to be sore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re going to come again for me Maggie” A thumb is pressed against her clit as Jocelyn drags her tongue over her collar bone to her ear and her hips buck uncontrollably “and again and again”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The fire burning inside of her soars. She’s uncomfortably hot, her torn blouse sticking to her skin and she needs release, needs it now before she is reduced to begging. She’s almost there, so close, oh so close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me see you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jocelyn...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s coming and it’s glorious, a pulsing wave rushing over her causing her fingers to contract and her toes to curl. Her hips cant high wanting to keep Jocelyn close while she rides out the waves of pleasure but there’s no need. She can hear the wetness between her legs, feel her core clenching as Jocelyn keeps thrusting, her rhythm not faltering for even a second.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Again”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...I don’t know... if I can”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh you can and you will”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn continues to thrust hard curling her fingers as she does and Maggie can only wrap her arms around strong shoulders and hold on helplessly as Jocelyn continues to fuck her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“...Don’t let me go”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She needs Jocelyn to anchor her, hold her in the present, she feels as though she’s close to drifting away. Her eyes screw tightly shut, her mind losing herself in the sound of their sex and Jocelyn’s breathing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Never”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s building quickly now, Jocelyn’s hitting that spot inside of her just so with the curve of her fingers and her hips buck uncontrollably as another wave of pleasure washes over her as her orgasm hits again. Her muscles spasm and she clenches her core tight, legs wrapping around Jocelyn pulling her deeper, locking her in place. Tears prick the corner of her eyes as she struggles with the overwhelming swell of emotion that rushes through her body.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Panting hard her head stops spinning and she realises she has been holding her breath, her mouth is bone dry and she swallows audibly. Jocelyn is still thrusting her hand but it’s softer now merely guiding her body through the last waves of its orgasm, her eyes watching her keenly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are so beautiful when you come”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right now she doesn’t feel beautiful, she feels thoroughly ravaged. Swallowing hard again her body goes slack, her head falling back. It causes her to wince slightly at the feel of rough carpet on her sensitive skin. She can feel the sweat beginning to cool across her body and she wipes at her forehead, pushing the hair from her eyes.</p>
<p><br/>
Her arm is visibly shaking and she lets it fall back by her side heavily. When she looks at Jocelyn she’s taken aback by the intensity of her gaze. Her cheeks warm and she wants to scoff at herself for blushing like a school girl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lets get you into bed”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Strong arms guide her upwards and she suddenly has a new appreciation for Jocelyn’s level of fitness. She knew she walked plenty but her core strength is impressive, her muscle definition beautiful. She feels like she’s in a dream state, lost in relaxation after two such intense orgasms. It almost feels as though she’s floating.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she comes back fully to the present she’s lying on the bed, head on the soft pillow she had slept on last night. Jocelyn has stripped them both of their clothing, the feel of their naked bodies pressed together causing a flicker of arousal deep in her belly even though right now she’s exhausted. Her eyes fall shut contentedly as soft kisses are pressed against her jaw, down her neck, in between her breasts all the way down to her naval. God how she loves this woman.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her hips are cradled by strong hands and she is suddenly being lifted, a soft pillow being pulled underneath her angling her hips upwards. Her eyes open quickly as her legs are parted and she tries to sit up but her exhausted limbs won’t let her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just look at you” that voice full of awe, full of love “so pink, so swollen”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie fights the urge to close her legs Jocelyn is studying her keenly and she feels a blush spread across her cheeks. A finger is run through her folds parting them oh so gently and her breath hitches. Although desperate to feel that tongue on her throbbing clit she’s not certain she can take anymore. She’s rung out, sated, hasn’t experienced sex like this in years and her body is being pushed to its limit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first flick of Jocelyn’s tongue has her fingers clutching tight at the bedsheets and Jocelyn’s hands grasp her thighs holding her hips steady.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You taste marvellous”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s so sensitive that it’s almost painful and Maggie squirms both craving the contact and fighting against it. Jocelyn just tightens her grip around her thighs but she alternates between caressing her pulsing clit and thrusting between her wet folds so as not to overwhelm her. Her stomach is clenching in response to the arousal that’s building slowly even as her lethargic body struggles against it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh ... fuck, Jocelyn”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She reaches for the head between her thighs running her hand through curls anchoring herself as Jocelyn moans, the vibrations against her delicious. Jocelyn is working her perfectly, her body responding eagerly to the ministrations of the love of her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It does not take long, already she needs to come again but this time she wants Jocelyn to come with her. Tugging gently Maggie meets Jocelyn’s curious eyes as her head rises and she makes her gaze pleading.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to feel it too”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She holds her gaze as Jocelyn studies her, there’s a thought process being had Maggie can see it in her eyes. For a moment Maggie thinks she is going to ignore her request but then Jocelyn moves reaching for something out of sight. The coolness that spreads across her clit makes her buck and she feels her core clench as she watches Jocelyn lube herself as well. When Jocelyn’s weight settles upon her she reaches up tracing a shaking hand across her cheek. She will never willingly be parted from this woman again. She craves her, loves her, needs her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because she needs to say it, cannot control the words from bursting forth as they are the absolute truth. Jocelyn’s features soften and she smiles so gently that Maggie cannot help but beam stroking her thumb back and forth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And I you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn spreads her legs and Maggie tries not to wince at the pull of her muscles as she settles between them angling her hips. Maggie gasps at the feeling of them pressed against each other so intimately. The pressure on her swollen clit feels glorious the coolness of the lube warming as Jocelyn begins to rock her hips back and forth the friction building deliciously. Maggie lifts her legs wrapping them around Jocelyn holding her securely in place. Sweat is breaking out across her skin as the heat builds once more and she can feel Jocelyn grind down, becoming firmer the pressure only increasing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh you feel... so good Maggie”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn moans with her head thrown back and a fresh flood of desire washes over Maggie, it does not take long before she’s writhing desperately. She needs to come, but she also needs Jocelyn to come with her. Canting her hips high causes Jocelyn’s breathing to falter and Maggie feels a rush of adrenaline. Reaching up she flicks her thumbs over Jocelyn’s taut nipples revelling in the lust filled eyes watching her intently. Jocelyn reaches for her, entwining their fingers tight before she pins their hands into the bedding, stretching Maggie’s body taught.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you going to come again for me darling?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn’t get to respond Jocelyn’s lips are on hers kissing her feverishly and Maggie has to fight to keep the connection. All she wants to do is throw her head back and moan as the tell tale signs of her incoming orgasm grip her. In the end it’s too much and she pulls back looking directly into Jocelyn’s eyes just as her orgasm hits hard. No sound escapes her, the intensity stealing the breath from her lungs. All she can focus on is the white noise ringing in her ears and the rush of endorphins as they wash over her. She’s vaguely aware of Jocelyn’s hips pressing down as she becomes rigid against her as gasping her name, feels the wetness between them increase and then she feels weightless as her body slumps into the mattress.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn continues to pant above her with her eyes closed, hips jerking sporadically as she rides out her orgasm and Maggie can take no more. With shaking limbs she reaches up guiding Jocelyn into her arms so that she can hold her close. Her solid weight against her is comforting, Jocelyn pressing kisses to her neck and she feels utterly content. Her hand trails up and down Jocelyn’s back soothingly and she’s pleased to see that the tension that had been so obvious in taught muscles before seems to have disappeared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Undeserving”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie swallows hard, the insecurities of this glorious woman make her heart ache. She wishes she could fight Jocelyn’s demons for her “You deserve the world petal”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn lets out a deep sigh and Maggie cuddles her that little bit closer. This is how she wants to spend the rest of her days wrapped up with her beloved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, for this”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie chuckles “I think I should be thanking you” Jocelyn raises her head and Maggie presses a kiss to her lips before admiring the glint in those blue grey eyes “I love you, never doubt that”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Even when I cannot do what is expected of me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie looks at her sternly “You where amazing, it was a flawed police investigation and still you managed a stellar performance. The fault does not rest with you petal, you need to let it go”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn’s eyes water and Maggie kisses her again one hand resting at her nape holding her close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are so wonderful”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well I try my best” Maggie winks before she starts to giggle she feels slightly delirious, the combination of feel good endorphins and tiredness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Was it too much?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I would tell you if it was I’m no shrinking violet” Jocelyn just rolls her eyes but she’s smiling “Was it what you needed?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No” Maggie can’t help it as she tenses, hurt blooming in her chest for a moment “it is was what I wanted and it was so much more because it was you”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s awe in those eyes and Maggie cannot understand what Jocelyn sees to make her look at her in that way. She feels precious, desired, loved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shall we go to sleep my darling?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nods and Jocelyn pulls away so that she can move under the covers. As she does her body protests, her muscles are sore and there’s a dull ache between her thighs. She feels thoroughly used but it makes her pulse flutter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s real fear in Jocelyn’s eyes and Maggie can almost read the thoughts behind it, knows Jocelyn’s panicking that she may have gone too far.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m bloody marvellous petal, now stop looking so worried and hold me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jocelyn snorts but complies, pulling her close as Maggie settles her head on her chest she presses a kiss to her hairline.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So bossy Maggie Radcliffe”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“But you love me”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh more than I can comprehend”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maggie can feel herself on the cusp of sleep. It’s been a terrible day, a complete whirlwind of emotions. She’s been shocked, upset, angry and frustrated. Now she still feels the bitter sting of disappointment but the stress and anger have been successfully chased away by the wonderful woman who’s holding her close. Maggie is determined that at least something positive will come out of this journey they have undertaken with the trial.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This right now is her life and they are going to build a brilliant one together.</p>
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